MWT 2007: Misting 1 The Horror Begins
by Billie Marie
Summary: If you like Mystery Science Theater 3000 and wrestling, this is for you. Vince McMahon has gone mad and captured four of his employees, two former and two current, and sent them up to his specially made satellite where he can torture them.
1. Introduction

Introduction:

My fan fiction series is actually a crossover of sorts between WWE wrestling and Mystery Science Theater 3000. Mystery Science Theater was an awesome show that teased really bad old movies. These movies were so bad, they were good. The concept of the show was that an evil villain (first Dr. Forrester, then Pearl) sent her/his employee into space and decided to experiment on the man's mind by sending really bad movies. The man, Joe (later replaced by Mike) got through the movies by making fun of them. He wasn't alone as he'd created several robot pals to laugh with him and make the experience easier.

I came across the idea to combine the two after stumbling across a wrestling fan fiction website on yahoo. There, I found an author named Amanda Stevens. She wrote that Vince McMahon sent Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and Xpac (also known formerly as 1-2-3 Kid, and really named Sean Waltman) up to the Satellite of Degenerates. Vince's major plan was to get revenge by sending bad fan fics and spams to drive the four men crazy.

What I have done is to take the same characters (Vince, Bret, Shawn, Hunter, and Sean), but write fan fictions and spams of my own and then have the four wrestlers mist them.

The only original character in this group series is Marie (my alter ego). She is a wrestling fan hired by Vince to write or locate awful spams and fan fics for Vince to send to his victims. There's another catch too. Vince has cameras and listening devices located throughout the satellite that he, Shane, or Marie can use to spy on our heroes anytime they want.

To understand the time that the series takes place in, as well as the background, here is a little description: It is the present just after 2007's New Year's Resolution. Bret Hart lives in Italy with his wife Cinzia and does a few autograph signings. He's been performing in the family musical, Aladdin. Xpac lives quietly with his wife and two kids. Meanwhile, in the WWE, Shawn Michaels, along with Hunter, has been making Vince's life miserable throughout 2006. Neither man has played by Vince's rules for a long time. As a result, Vince has gone a little off the deep end and craves nothing but revenge.

To get revenge on DX, Vince hired the best technicians to create the Satellite of Degenerates. He then transported Shawn Michaels to it because he and Michaels have been at each others throats since December 2005. Hunter also has been a pain in the ass for Vince. Plus, Vince, in the series, doesn't like it that Hunter is married to Stephanie. In fact, as you will read, Vince gives his daughter an ultimatum: divorce Hunter and be separated legally or stay together and be separated physically. Hunter, at this time, is still recovering from the leg injury that occurred at New Year's Resolution.

That explains DX. What about Xpac and Bret? Well, when Xpac was working for Vince, back in 2002, Waltman pissed Vince off before being fired. This is my storyline anyway. Vince thought he'd be perfect for the satellite. As for Bret, while the screwjob is a predictable reason, the real reason that Bret is on the satellite is because Vince is upset that Bret didn't appear at Wrestlemania 22. Additionally, Bret is on the satellite because Vince is hoping he will go crazy enough to kill Shawn, or vice versa. Yes, Bret and Shawn still hate each other.

That's all of an introduction you will get. The rest will be explained in the fan fic.

The first fan fiction 'The Horror Begins" details how our heroes are first put on the satellite and detail their first encounter with Marie. They also get to mist (make jokes at) Marie.

I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.


	2. Shawn and Rebecca

**Note: I don't own any of the characters except Marie. The ideas to put the characters together are Amanda Stevens. However, how they end up where they are is all my idea and the fan fic and spams being sent to our heroes are written by me.**

**Format: This will be partly written like a normal story, but things that characters say to each other, out loud will be written in a script form. The name of the character talking is in bold. Their actions are surrounded by (). Words in italics will be used to symbolize when words are from the fan fic or spam the guys are misting.**

**Title:**

**Misting #1: The Horror Begins - Chapter 1**

**Characters (in order of appearance): Shawn Michaels, Rebecca Michaels, Xpac (Sean Waltman), Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Bret Hart, Vince McMahon, Marie**

Place: San Antonio, Texas

Shawn Michaels pulled into the driveway of his home in San Antonio. It had been a long journey home. The last WWE show had been all the way in Portland, Maine. He'd just gotten off the plane 35 minutes ago. He had tomorrow off. Time off was rare and he planned to spend it with his family.

Of course the next day after that, Shawn had to fly to Toronto, Canada.

"Canada," Shawn thought, "one of the few countries where I receive more boos than cheers."

Some fans just could not let the incident in Montreal go. Shawn said to himself, "Of course, what do you expect when you look at their hero?"

Italy was getting just as bad lately. Shawn knew that Bret was living there now. Damn that man.

With Bret and Canada on his mind, Shawn parked his car in the garage. His home seemed quieter than normal. Shawn checked his watch. It was 6:15pm. Cameron and Cheyenne, his 7 year old son and 2 and a half year old daughter, were usually up at this time. Cameron, particularly, was hard to get to bed. He was such a noisy and hyper kid that he could be heard from just about any part of the house. Cameron definitely took after his father.

Shawn entered the house. He didn't hear footsteps or voices. The television was off, but the lights were on. Someone had to be home. Shawn had called just 20 minutes ago and talked to Rebecca. He'd told his wife that he was coming home.

"Just maybe," Shawn thought, "Rebecca was able to get Cameron and Cheyenne to bed early."

If that was the case, then he and Rebecca could go in their room and have a fairly good time.

**Shawn:** (calling out gently as possible) Rebecca!

Just then, Shawn's cell rang. He answered.

**Shawn:** Hello?

**Sean:** (urgent) Shawn?

**Shawn:** Yeah?

**Sean:** It's Sean Waltman.

**Shawn:** Kid? Where you been? Haven't heard from you for a while.

**Sean:** No time for greetings or pleasantries.

**Shawn:** I...

**Sean:** Just listen.

Suddenly, over the phone, Shawn heard a noise, followed by a scream from Sean's end. Was it Shawn's imagination, or did that noise sound like an axe chopping wood? He heard the noise again followed by screams and sobs mixed together.

**Shawn: **(over the phone) Kid, what are you doing? Watching The Shining? And is that the kids I hear? What kind of father are you letting them watch that movie?

**Sean:** This is serious Shawn. I'm in trouble...so are you...So's Hunter and...

**Terri (Sean's wife):** (heard at a distance from Sean's phone) Sean!

Shawn tried to understand what he heard next. Terri, whom Shawn had heard that Sean had remarried last year, was screaming. The crying, that Shawn now realized must have come from the kids, was no longer heard. Instead, he heard a fight going on. Furniture, by the sounds of it was breaking. Then, Sean's phone sounded like it had been dropped. This was followed by a crunching sound and then by a dial tone. That was all.

**Shawn:** (staring at the phone) Sean's always been weird.

Shawn hung up and walked up the stairs towards his bedroom. Once outside his bedroom door, he realized that there were sounds coming from the other side.

Shawn placed his head against the door and listened. There was noise. He recognized Rebecca's voice. She was moaning. She was moaning because someone was kissing her. Shawn did not want to open the door, but he did.

There was his wife. Rebecca was dressed in a flimsy nearly see through negligee. It was one of his personal favorites. She couldn't see him though because her back was turned. She was too busy to turn around because she was in the arms of another man. The man, whom Shawn thought he recognized, had his arms all over her.

**Tom (the man): **Your husband's home.

Rebecca turned to face Shawn. She had a huge smile on her face.

**Shawn:** Rebecca...what...what the hell?

**Rebecca: **What's it look like?

**Shawn:** It looks like my wife is having an affair right in front of my eyes.

**Rebecca: **That must be it then.

**Shawn:** You knew I was coming home. How could you do this?

**Rebecca: **I could ask you the same question.

**Shawn:** I've never cheated on you.

**Rebecca: **Yet, that doesn't mean you wouldn't. You've cheated before.

**Shawn:** I've admitted to not being faithful to my first wife. That doesn't mean I would do the same to you.

**Rebecca: **Perhaps. Perhaps not and I can't take that chance. I have to protect my best interests and our children's.

**Shawn:** Where are the children?

**Rebecca: **At my mother's.

**Shawn:** What do you want, a divorce?

**Rebecca: **Eventually.

**Shawn:** So you can carry on with this man? Just what the hell are you going to tell the kids when they ask why we're not together and why I left the house?

**Rebecca:** That daddy doesn't care about us, that he doesn't love us.

**Shawn:** You bitch! How could you?

**Rebecca: **Not so nice when it happens to you. I'm going to take you for everything I can. I'm going to take your money, your home, your children...

**Shawn:** Over my dead body. You'll never get any of it when I hire a lawyer that will present to a judge everything you've done. And I will get custody of Cameron and Cheyenne.

**Rebecca: **You could call a lawyer, but you won't. More precisely, you won't be able to. Oh boys...

Shawn heard movement behind him. He turned around and saw masked men in black body suits carrying weapons.

**Shawn:** Oh, this will look good. Wife cheats on loyal husband, wants divorce, but settles on killing him to take it all. You don't think this looks bad?

**Rebecca: **Don't worry, they're not going to kill you, just kidnap you.

Before Shawn could understand anything more, he felt something sharp pierce his shoulder. He looked. A dart was sticking out. Shawn suddenly felt tired. A tranquilizer, Shawn realized. His knees began to buckle when he felt a second dart pierce his back.

Shawn collapsed and the men moved from the doorway over to Shawn's body. They picked Shawn up and moved him out of the room.

The leader of the team took out his cell phone.

**Leader (on phone):** Boss, we have HBK apprehended.

**Boss (on phone):** Good. That's three down. One to go. Time to get some personal satisfaction.

End of Chapter 1

I did a little checking. Sean Waltman last wrestled with the WWE from 1998-2002. I also read that he's divorced from his wife. Well, in this story, he is remarried to Terri. With him, especially, I am taking artistic license.


	3. Hunter and Stephanie

**Note: I don't own any of the characters except Marie. The ideas to put the characters together are Amanda Stevens. However, how they end up where they are is all my idea and the fan fic and spams being sent to our heroes are written by me.**

**Format: This will be partly written like a normal story, but things that characters say to each other, out loud will be written in a script form. The name of the character talking is in bold. Their actions are surrounded by (). Words in italics will be used to symbolize when words are from the fan fic or spam the guys are misting.**

**Title:**

**Misting #1: The Horror Begins - Chapter 2**

Place: Connecticut - The home of Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Stephanie McMahon

Being married into the McMahon family had both its disadvantages and its advantages. Disadvantages: having your fellow wrestlers say that you slept and married your way to the top (irritating), having Shane McMahon as a brother-in-law (annoying), having Vince McMahon for your father-in-law (huge inconvenience). However, it was balanced out by the advantages. Namely, and sometimes Hunter had to remind himself of them, having a great career, having a beautiful baby girl, and having Stephanie. Stephanie was a gorgeous and wonderful wife and mother.

"Life couldn't get much better than this," thought Hunter, as he hugged his wife. They were in bed, naked, having just made love. Hunter was currently on sabbatical from the WWE because of a leg injury and aside from the surgery he'd had to endure, he was definitely grateful for the time off. He was even more grateful tonight because Stephanie's mother had the baby.

**Hunter:** I love you.

**Stephanie:** I love you too.

They kissed and then Stephanie rested her head on his chest. "Life was definitely good," thought Hunter.

Suddenly, the door opened and that thought immediately disappeared for standing in the doorway was...Vince McMahon.

**Hunter: **Jesus Vince!

Hunter sat up straighter. The bed sheet fell to his waist.

Meanwhile, Stephanie sat up so quickly that she almost lost the sheet that she now clutched so tightly. Fear was in her eyes.

**Vince:** Both of you, get up. Get out of that bed.

**Hunter: **No doing Vince, unless you want to hand me my pants and hand Stephanie her nightgown.

Vince glared at him, but Hunter had no intention of giving into Vince. Hell, if he'd done that in the past, he'd never be married.

**Hunter: **What are you doing here? How'd you get in anyway?

**Vince:** Took my wife's key. The key took care of the alarm.

**Hunter: **Knew I should have gotten a voice-activated security system.

**Stephanie: **Hunter, please, don't upset him. Daddy, if you want to go into the kitchen, we'll get dressed and meet you down there. You clearly have something you want to discuss. I'll make coffee...

**Vince:** That won't be necessary. We can talk here.

**Hunter:** I'm not really at my best.

**Vince:** Neither am I when you make all these cock jokes, which I know were your idea.

**Hunter:** Just following the American Dream of embarrassing your father-in-law on television in front of millions of people.

**Vince:** And I will be following the American Dream when I rid myself of my hated son-in-law. Something Archie Bunker always wanted to do.

**Hunter:** I'd like to think that deep inside, Archie had a soft spot for Meathead. Archie liked to argue.

**Vince:** However, I do not like being embarrassed. Do I Stephanie?

**Stephanie:** No Daddy.

**Vince:** That's my girl. You love me, don't you Stephie?

**Stephanie:** Yes dad.

**Vince:** You respect me.

**Stephanie:** (trying to save herself and Hunter) Yes.

**Vince:** You would do anything for me.

**Stephanie:** Just about. (Vince gives her a cruel look.) Yes, daddy.

"Man, has he got her brainwashed," thought Hunter.

**Vince:** Good, divorce him.

**Stephanie: **What, no. I love Hunter. I didn't divorce him when you told me to do it three years ago, I'm not doing it now.

"That took guts," thought Hunter. He loved her for saying it.

**Vince: **I expected you to say that. So, I took steps. (takes out a rolled up document) See for yourself. (throws the document at the married couple)

**Stephanie: **(unrolls documents and reads) They're divorce papers...filed by me. All that's missing is the signatures...but I never...

**Vince:** Our family lawyer was good enough to begin the paperwork.

**Hunter:** (reading) Reason for divorce: _Spousal Abandonment_. (looks at Vince) Good one Vince, except I'm not going anywhere. I'd sooner kidnap my wife and kid and take them with me, then leave them.

**Vince:** I expected that too.

**Stephanie: **I hope you didn't expect me to sign. I just got through saying...

**Vince:** No honey. I've taken steps. I'm in control of this whole situation.

**Hunter:** The only way I'd appear to abandon my family is if you kill me. Even you can't get away with that.

**Vince:** Who said I was going to kill you? (holds out hand-held electronic device)

**Hunter:** (nervous, but trying not to show it) What's that supposed to do?

**Vince:** You'll see.

Vince pressed a button on the device. An electric stream of energy hit Hunter in the chest and he twitched as if on the receiving end of an electric shock. Stephanie screamed.

Vince stopped pressing the button. Hunter twitched a moment more; then, slumped down unconscious. His momentum caused him to fall out of bed and onto the floor right on his face, with the back of his bare body in plain view of everyone.

**Stephanie:** (clearly shocked) Hunter! Daddy, how could you?

**Vince:** It's for the best baby. One of these days, you'll understand. (opens bedroom door, calls into hallway) Come on in boys.

At Vince's command, several masked men in black body suits entered the bedroom.

**Vince:** (giving direction) Grab that piece of garbage and throw him into the truck...but first, put a robe on him.

Vince's men do as instructed. As the men take Hunter out, Vince turns his attention to Stephanie. He moves closer to the bed and picks up her nightgown from the floor. Vince throws the nightie at his daughter.

**Vince: **Get dressed. Pack some clothes for yourself and my granddaughter. Then, meet me outside.

With that, Vince turned and left. Stephanie stared in shock at the night's events and it was about to get a whole lot worse.

End of part 2

References:  
Archie Bunker was the much loved main character on the tv show 'All In The Family'. The show was very ground breaking. One of Archie's main conflicts arose between him and his son-in-law Michael (who Archie called Meathead).

Throughout my writings, you will find references to old movies and tv shows.

Hope you liked Chapter 2.


	4. Vince's Headquarters

**Note: I don't own any of the characters except Marie. The ideas to put the characters together are Amanda Stevens. However, how they end up where they are is all my idea and the fan fic and spams being sent to our heroes are written by me.**

**Format: This will be partly written like a normal story, but things that characters say to each other, out loud will be written in a script form. The name of the character talking is in bold. Their actions are surrounded by (). Words in italics will be used to symbolize when words are from the fan fic or spam the guys are misting.**

**Title:**

**Misting #1: The Horror Begins - Chapter 3**

Place: Private screening room of Vince McMahon's headquarters

Close to five hours had passed since the last of Vince's captives had been brought to WWE headquarters. All the pieces were in place for Vince to carry out the next part of his plan. Now, he just waited in his headquarters' private screening room, watching as the drama before him unfolded in the adjoining main room.

Place: Main Room of Vince McMahon's headquarters

Shawn was beginning to come around. Those tranquilizers had really knocked him for a loop. Even now, he thought he could hear voices somewhere close to his left. At least, he thought it was his left. The voices were familiar too.

"Great," thought Shawn, "I'm hallucinating."

Hunter thought he heard voices too, "Man, electricity really scrambles your brain."

Sean Waltman had woken up before anyone else. He was extremely disoriented and the dimly lit room he was in didn't help the situation.

"Now I know what a drugged elephant feels like," Sean thought.

He realized that he couldn't move. Looking down, he knew why. He was strapped to a chair. Additionally odd was that something heavy was on his head.

**Sean:** (out loud) What the hell?

Then he heard a moaning sound to his left. He turned his head left, a feeling that made him nauseous, and was shocked to see Bret 'The Hitman' Hart. Hart was strapped to what looked like an electric chair.

**Sean:** (out loud) This is just getting weirder.

**Bret:** (eyes still closed, clearly out of it) Blade, go back to bed. It's too early to be up.

**Sean:** Bret, this is your wake up call from the Twilight Zone.

**Bret:** (eyes closed, mumbles) 'Twilight Zone'? I guess you can watch it.

**Sean:** I don't have to. I'm in it, and so are you. (shouts) Now wake up!

Bret, completely startled, opened his eyes.

**Bret:** What?

**Sean:** Good morning sunshine.

**Bret:** (looking to his right) Sean...Sean Waltman. What the hell are you doing here? (looking at his head) And what the hell have you got on?

**Sean:** Same thing you have. As for your first question, I already asked it. I have no clue.

**Bret:** (looking past Sean) Wherever we are, we're not alone.

**Sean:** Huh? (looks to his right) Shawn Michaels, Triple H...

**Bret:** Two of my least favorite people. I'm dreaming...I must be... that's the only way this makes any sense.

**Sean:** Face it, dreams show you what you long for, what you desire. Why would you desire to see Shawn Michaels? (he grinned slightly) Unless there's something I should know about you two.

**Bret:** (looks at him wide eyed) I knew you were crude, but really...

**Sean:** Hey, it was just an observation. You said the same kind of things to Shawn back in 97 even though you knew he wasn't gay.

**Bret:** I didn't want to...This must be a nightmare.

**Sean:** I don't remember having a splitting headache in a nightmare before.

**Bret:** (realizing this is real) Damn it! (to Sean) You seen anybody else?

**Sean:** (sarcastic) I just woke up. I just noticed you. I just noticed them. So no.

**Bret: **What's the last thing you remember?

**Sean:** I told you I have a splitting headache. I'm lucky that I can remember my own name. (pause) It is Sean, right?

**Bret:** (rolling his eyes, and then reacting from the pain that brought on) I mean, do you remember seeing guys in body suits...

**Sean: **Guys in body suits? You sure you're not...

**Bret:** I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

**Sean: **Just checking. You do like the color pink.

**Bret:** (glaring angrily) Sean!

A groaning sound was heard on Sean's left. Bret and Sean looked over and saw Shawn Michaels' head rolling as if in answer hearing his name.

**Sean:** (asking Bret) Think we should wake these two sleeping beauties?

**Bret:** Why?

**Sean:** Because maybe they know something?

**Bret:** For all we know, they brought us here.

**Sean:** If they did, why would they be strapped down too?

**Bret:** To trick us. To make us think they're innocent when they're not.

**Sean:** Someone still has issues. I did hear that you never got over Survivor Series.

**Bret:** How can I get over it when it's constantly brought up and/or reenacted on RAW? And now, here's the perpetrator of the crime, and one of the geniuses who thought it up.

**Sean:** They're still in the same predicament we are. And Triple H looks like he got electric shock therapy.

**Bret:** Unless they planned it that way.

**Sean:** It's been ten years. Enough already.

Shawn Michaels, although disoriented, realized who the two voices belonged to. He felt that it was time to say something.

**Shawn:** (mumbles) Yes, please...Enough. (lifts head and opens eyes) Oh, my head.

**Sean:** Shawn, you're awake.

**Shawn:** Yeah, now someone knock me out again.

**Bret:** I'd do it, but I can't reach you.

**Sean: **(intervening because he didn't want an argument) Shawn, do you know who knocked you out the first time?

**Shawn: **(glaring past Sean and at Bret) Well, if it's not Bitterman Hart. Still living in the past, I see.

**Bret:** You're one to talk after reenacting the Screwjob last year. And then reuniting DX.

**Shawn: **Reuniting DX had nothing to do with you. News just in, the world does not revolve around Bret Hart.

**Bret:** Yeah, it revolves around Shawn Michaels.

**Shawn: **I never said it did.

**Bret:** You act like it does.

**Shawn:** So I have an ego. I think I'm allowed.

**Bret:** (looks to Sean) And you wonder why I have issues.

**Sean:** I give up.

Hunter felt this was a good place for him to jump in.

**Hunter: **(mumbling) Smart. (Bret, Sean, and Shawn look at him) I gave up five years ago.

**Shawn: **Hunter, you okay?

**Sean:** You don't look so good.

**Hunter:** I feel like I stuck my finger in a light socket.

**Shawn:** Yeah, that kind of fits in with your whole appearance.

**Hunter:** Is my hair messed up?

**Shawn:** Yes.

**Hunter:** And I was voted the wrestler with the best hair. (Bret rolled his eyes, same old Triple H) Where are we?

**Bret:** Still trying to piece together what happened.

**Hunter: **And here I thought we were trying to piece together your life.

**Bret:** (sighs in frustration) Does anyone remember anything before they got knocked out?

**Shawn:** You seem to want to lead the discussion. What do you remember?'

**Bret: **I was in a hotel room in Toronto, Canada. I had just gotten off the phone with my wife Cinzia. (angry) I'd told her I was done with my autograph session and told her I'd be on a plane home tomorrow. So much for those plans...

**Shawn:** Rambling.

**Bret:** Soon after I hung up, my hotel room was broken into by a bunch of masked men in body suits.

**Sean:** Again with the body suits...

**Bret:** (ignoring) They shot two darts at me and I was down.

**Shawn:** Anything else?

**Bret:** Then I woke up here. To my horror.

**Shawn:** That was helpful. (looking at Sean) Okay Kid, what about you?

**Sean:** What about me?

**Shawn:** You called me remember? You're family was screaming.

**Sean:** I was watching tv with my wife Terri and the kids. Suddenly, someone broke our door down. In came at least twelve masked men in body suits.

**Bret:** Why did you make a big deal when I said I saw them, when you saw them too?

**Sean: **Because part of me was hoping that this was a bad dream. If I didn't admit to seeing them, then maybe I didn't.

**Hunter:** Anyway...

**Sean:** They fired darts at me, but they missed. I yelled for my family to get upstairs and I followed...

**Bret:** You must not watch enough horror movies. Running upstairs never works.

**Sean:** There was nowhere else to go and protecting my family was my first priority. (to Bret) Are you done interrupting?

**Bret:** Yes.

**Sean: **Luckily, those men were slow and loud. As I ran up the steps, I heard someone speaking on a cell phone saying, "We've got a little difficulty. Yes sir, we'll get him." Then, I think  
he hung up. As the men came up the stairs, the leader, I think anyway, say, "I hope the others have more success with Michaels and Helmsley. At least, they have Hart."

**Shawn:** Because everybody knows you've got to have Hart. (Bret glares)

**Sean:** (continuing) I rushed my family into my bedroom and barricaded the door. Meanwhile, Terri opened the window so we could escape. Just as she was helping our son climb out, the men began pounding our door. I knew it wouldn't be much longer before the men came in, so as Terri helped our daughter get out and then, got herself out, I placed the call to you Shawn, to warn you. During our conversation, the men began chopping the door. By the time Terri was out, and it was my turn to climb, there was a hole in the door. Before I could finish my warning, and climb out, a dart hit me in the back.

**Shawn:** Thanks for the warning; it was really helpful.

**Bret: **One dart, you got off easy.

**Sean:** That's probably why I was the first to wake up and why my head's beginning to clear.

**Shawn:** Lucky.

**Sean:** So Shawn, what about you?

**Shawn:** I was walking into my living room when you called. I'd just gotten home and was heading upstairs to see my wife and kids. I didn't understand what you were saying at all. And I think someone might have crushed your phone.

**Sean:** Shit. (Shawn looked at him) I liked that phone.

**Shawn:** After we were disconnected, I went to my bedroom where I found my wife Rebecca in the arms of another man.

**Hunter:** Damn, I knew she was bad news.

**Shawn:** You tried to warn me, but I didn't listen.

**Bret:** Why does that sound so familiar?

**Shawn:** Don't even go there Hart. Those were entirely different circumstances.

**Bret:** But it's all about the same thing...trust. (Sean and Hunter exchange worried looks)

**Shawn:** (chooses to continue his story) Rebecca said she wanted a divorce. Next thing I know, she calls in those masked guys. They shoot me and I'm down. (angry) Damn Rebecca! She  
didn't have to go to such extremes for a divorce.

**Hunter:** At least her father-in-law didn't electrocute you.

**All:** (but Hunter) What?

**Hunter:** I was in bed with Stephanie when Vince barged in...

**Sean:** Bad mental picture.

**Hunter:** How do you think I felt? Steph and I were naked...

**Sean:** Another bad mental picture...

**Hunter:** He ordered us to get out of bed. We wouldn't. Then, he hit us with divorce papers, literally. Steph refused to sign, so Vince decided to electrocute me with a little hand-held controller. I passed out...must have been carried out.

**Shawn:** At least they had the common courtesy to dress you first.

**Bret:** I was going to ask about the robe. Now I don't have to.

**Shawn:** It's a really nice robe by the way. Steph got it for you for Christmas, didn't she?

**Hunter:** Lay off the robe.

**Shawn:** What? I said it was nice. Is it silk?

**Hunter:** The robe isn't important. Did anyone miss it when I said that Vince shot me?

**Sean:** You think Vince is behind this?

**Hunter:** Who else but the devil himself would think up a plan to capture the four of us?

**Shawn:** I always kind of thought Vince was the devil.

**Hunter:** There you go.

**Shawn:** I'll never understand how you could marry the devil's daughter.

**Hunter:** (annoyed) At least my wife wasn't in cahoots with Vince.

**Shawn:** (in disbelief) Rebecca and Vince...

**Hunter:** She cheated on you and had you tranqued.

**Shawn:** And you don't think Stephanie was in on her father's plot?

**Hunter:** No.

**Shawn:** You sure?

**Hunter:** She wasn't in on it Shawn. She was as shocked as I was.

**Shawn:** Women do fake things Hunter.

**Hunter:** You should know. Apparently Rebecca's been faking for a while. (Shawn stares wide eyed, shocked that his best friend would say that)

**Shawn:** I ought to knock your head off for that.

**Hunter:** But you can't.

**Sean:** (looks to Bret) I'm confused. Isn't Shawn supposed to be arguing with you?

**Hunter:** Don't worry Kid, this is how we usually act.

**Bret:** No surprise there.

**Hunter:** Vince had better not have hurt Stephanie. I swear, when I get my hands on him...

A loud voice interrupted saying, "Really Hunter, threats are completely unnecessary."

The captured men looked ahead, peering into the darkness at the far end of the room. Suddenly, the lights came on. This gave the men no time to adjust their eyes.

**Sean:** Aah! I'm blind.

The captives blinked several times and saw a familiar figure walking to them.

**Hunter:** Vince!

**Vince:** As you can see Hunter, you're in no position to make threats.

**Hunter:** Unstrap me, and I'll get into position.

**Bret:** That's not exactly a lot of incentive Hunter.

**Vince:** Hello Bret. Long time no see. Nice speech at the Hall of Fame. It touched me right here. (puts a hand on his ass)

**Bret:** Have you no respect? I did you a favor.

**Vince:** Do you think you showed respect when you refused to show at Wrestlemania 22?

**Bret:** That was never part of the deal. I did the Hall of Fame like I agreed to. You were the one that tried to change the deal.

**Sean:** What did he do?

**Bret:** He had his men confront me after the ceremony. They said that Vince would give me a renewable ten year contract if I appeared at Wrestlemania. Pretty good money too.

**Vince:** But you turned me down.

**Bret: **I'd gone down that road before. I don't plan to ever sign a contract with the WWE. I'm very satisfied with my life, or at least I was till you brought me here. Just why are we here Vince? What's going on?

**Vince:** Glad you asked. I've been feeling lately that things haven't been going as I'd like. People around me aren't doing as I want. To take back control, I plan to show my authority, by making examples of you. (pacing) All of you have wronged me and/or refused to do as I say. Bret, (stops in front of him) you refused to drop the belt in 97 the way I wanted you to...

**Bret:** You already ruined my career because of it.

**Vince:** Remember Bret, I didn't screw you. Bret screwed Bret.

**Shawn:** But Vince, you did finally admit on RAW last year that you screwed Bret.

**Bret:** (to Sean) Am I imagining things or did Shawn just stick up for me?

**Vince:** It's words like that Shawn that have gotten you here. And Bret, you're here not just for Survivor Series, but because you refused to be at Wrestlemania. All you had to do was make one appearance, but noooo...Once again Bret screwed Bret.

**Bret:** I should have known you'd do something like this. You can't be trusted. I should have gone with my instincts and never done anything for you.

**Vince:** Too late. I've got you and can continue making money off of you. (moves down to DX) Now, DX, it should be clear why you're here.

**Hunter:** Is it clear to you Shawn?

**Shawn:** It's not clear to me. Is it clear to you Hunter?

**Hunter:** It's not clear to me. Kid, Bret…

**Vince:** (shouts) Enough! (upset) Ever since December 2005, you Michaels have been ruining my show. And what you did to me and my son at Wrestlemania 22...

**Shawn:** I was only helping you and Shane bond like you asked.

**Vince:** And you Hunter, reunited with Shawn to embarrass me. My own son-in-law. I should have never let you marry my daughter. It was you who started the cock jokes, you who poured shit on me, you who stuffed my head up Big Show's crack...

**Sean:** Even more bad mental pictures.

**Vince:** (Hunter wants to respond, but Vince stops him) I knew I had to do something. I thought I could persuade Edge and Orton to eliminate you for real, but they refused. So I decided to take matters into my own hands.

**Hunter:** Because it worked so well before. (sighs) Look Vince, I'm already out of the WWE...

**Vince:** But you were going to come back. So I made plans and now I have you, don't I?

**Sean:** He has you there Hunter. All right Vince, I understand capturing DX. I even get you capturing Bret, but why me? I haven't even been involved in the WWE since 2002. My name doesn't come up in broadcasts; my image doesn't appear in video packages. The fans could care less about me. If I hadn't won the tag team belts on two occasions and been a small part of the NWO and DX, I wouldn't even appear in the wrestling history books.

**Shawn: **Well aren't you humble?

**Sean:** Somebody has to be. We have enough egos here. (the others stare at him) So why me?

**Vince:** You kid are here because you are one of those that left WWE for WCW for the money and talked bad about me even after I let you come back.

**Bret:** Was Hogan unreachable?

**Shawn:** Aah! (everyone looks at him) Think about it, would you really want Hogan here?

**Bret:** Instead of the Kid or you?

**Shawn:** I'm never sticking up for you again.

**Vince:** Good to hear. My plan requires the two of you to hate each other.

**Hunter:** What exactly is the plan? You have us; what are you going to do with us?

**Vince:** Glad you asked. (the captives look at each other, this is hell) When DX reformed...I started planning...

**Bret:** So we can blame all of this on DX.

**DX:** Hey!

**Vince:** (continuing) With my brain and money, I hired technicians to design the many neat little toys I now have, some of which you've seen.

**Sean:** Every man needs his toys.

**Hunter:** The blow up doll you have is no longer satisfying you, is it?

**Shawn:** Ewww...

**Bret:** It's comments like that that have put us here.

**Vince:** Hunter, you've seen my little hand-held shocker. Good thing the Mountie never had anything like it when he threw that water on you Bret. (Bret glares rembering that that stupid storyline nearly resulted in Bret having pneumonia) The rest of you have felt the affects of the tranquilizer darts. And now you are sitting in my most fantastic creation yet.

**Sean:** A four-seater electric chair. Death sentence advocates will love you.

**Vince:** I'm not going to kill you. That would just make you all martyrs. My purpose in capturing you all is to teach the rest of my employees a lesson.

**Bret:** Don't have any integrity.

**Sean:** Don't try to better your situation.

**Shawn:** Do all that your boss tells you to.

**Hunter:** Don't make fun of your boss (adds in) not to his face anyway.

**Vince:** Yes. (the captives look at each other amazed that those are Vince's actual lessons) This will teach my employees that if you don't follow my rules, you will be at my mercy. Just as you four are now. You see, I'm videotaping this and sending it to all my current and former employees. This will scare them into obedience.

**Hunter:** I don't know Vince. If you keep giving some of your employees lousy storylines, I can see where some would rather be in our position.

**Vince:** You think your punishment is sitting in these chairs?

**Shawn:** That and listening to Bret's whiny voice.

**Bret:** Screw you Shawn.

**Shawn:** You wish. (Sean and Hunter groan)

**Vince:** Keep up that fighting.

**Hunter:** Bret, Shawn, knock it off. You're playing right into Vince's plan.

**Vince:** You haven't even heard it all. You're not just sitting in any chairs. You are sitting in a spatial transporter. It has the capability of transporting you anywhere.

**Hunter:** Even to Oz?

**Sean:** We're off to see the Wizard.

**Vince:** I am the Wizard.

**Bret:** I want to go home.

**Shawn:** A brain wouldn't hurt either. (Bret glares, Sean and Hunter groan)

**Vince:** Everything is going according to plan. (Hunter glares at Shawn) And now, feast your eyes on this.

Vince took a remote out of his pocket. He aimed at a big tv screen that was embedded in the room's side wall and pressed a button. An image of a ship like object floating in space appeared.

**Sean:** Not a rerun of Star Trek. Anything but that.

**Bret:** I think there's a hockey game on.

**Shawn:** Anything but hockey.

**Vince:** This is not a regular tv. That is not the U.S.S Enterprise. That is the Satellite of Degenerates.

**Hunter:** Nice name. (realizes) Oh no...

**Vince:** Say hi to your new home. (his captives become wide eyed) Think of it, just the four of you living, eating and breathing the same air together.

**Sean:** Our quartet will become a duo in no time. (Sean, Hunter and Vince look at Bret and Shawn)

**Bret and Shawn:** Hey!

**Shawn:** There's more than one room on there right? (Vince nods) So, Bret can just lock himself away.

**Bret:** He has a point.

**Shawn:** (surprised that Bret would say that) I do?

**Bret:** Except that you will be the one locked away. (Shawn glares)

**Vince:** I planned on the possibility that you would isolate yourselves from each other. That's why each and every few days, maybe as much as every day, the four of you will be forced to spend a few hours together.

**Hunter:** Even Bret and Shawn can refrain from killing each other for a few hours, I think.

**Vince:** It might be as many as five. (his victims look at each other) And it won't be under the best of circumstances. During part of this quality time, you will be subjected to the worst posts of spam and fan fiction that have ever been written. I have a person working for me whose job it is to write and search for the worst things ever written. You'll meet her soon. (his victims grow more nervous) Know that I will take great pleasure in watching you read these posts. I can't wait for you to lose your little minds and destroy each other as a result. And I will enjoy taping every moment or your ordeal and showing it to my current and former employees. Just think of yourselves as reality tv stars.

**Hunter: **Vince...(breaks down and cries) Just kill me now...

**Shawn: **Hunter! Pull yourself together. We can get through this.

**Bret:** Don't give Vince the satisfaction of seeing us cry or beg.

Surprised by words that closely agreed with each other, Sean glanced at Bret and Shawn. Hunter too was surprised and stopped sobbing, only in time to look up and see Vince smiling evilly. He held the remote and pressed a different button than what he'd pressed before. Immediately, Bret, Sean, Shawn and Hunter's bodies began to break up into thousands of molecules. Those molecules were transported away.

End of Chapter 3

What did you think? Comments are appreciated.


	5. On the Satellite

**Note: I don't own any of the characters except Marie. The ideas to put the characters together are Amanda Stevens. However, how they end up where they are is all my idea and the fan fic and spams being sent to our heroes are written by me.**

**Format: This will be partly written like a normal story, but things that characters say to each other, out loud will be written in a script form. The name of the character talking is in bold. Their actions are surrounded by (). Words in italics will be used to symbolize when words are from the fan fic or spam the guys are misting.**

**Title:**

**Misting #1: The Horror Begins - Chapter 4**

Place: Main room of Vince's headquarters

Vince watched as his victims' (our heroes') molecules faded from his transporter. He turned his attention to the big screen and pressed a button. The screen's image changed to that of the interior of the Satellite of Degenerates.

Place: The den of the Satellite of Degenerates

From the screen, Vince watched as our heroes' molecules reassembled into their correct forms. Problem is that they reassembled in mid air. Our reformed heroes found themselves falling to the floor, which they hit with a thud. The four men expressed sounds of pain and discomfort.

**Vince:** Rough landing, I see.

Our heroes turned in the direction of Vince's voice and found his image on what appeared to be very large, but normal looking plasma screen tv.

**Vince:** I'm still getting some of the bugs worked out of the transporter.

In reality, Vince thought he might keep that bug in the transporter. It was rather amusing.

**Shawn:** So we noticed.

Shawn tried to get up, but realized that his legs weren't moving.

**Shawn:** My legs! I can't move my legs.

**Sean:** Neither can I.

**Hunter:** That's because I'm on top of Shawn's legs, who's on top of Sean's legs...

**Bret:** Who's on top of mine.

**Sean and Shawn:** Oh.

Hunter was just glad that no one had fallen on top of his injured knee. He stood up and stretched out a hand to help Shawn up.

Shawn accepted it and started to be assisted up. However, he just couldn't keep his mouth shut.

**Shawn:** Wait...you're not wearing anything under that robe, are you?

Hunter let go of Shawn's hand. Shawn wasn't expecting it and fell back on top of Sean. Sean and Bret both expressed more sounds of pain.

**Hunter:** (all three men were looking at him angrily) Sorry.

This time Hunter helped Shawn up. Sean got up on his own. Bret, who'd had bad knees for a years now, got into a kneeling position.

**Vince:** Welcome to the Satellite of Degenerates. I will be your master, your caretaker...

**Hunter:** Our mad genius.

**Vince:** I will determine if you have a bad experience or a truly awful one.

**Shawn:** Are those our only options?

**Vince: **You will find the satellite to be fully outfitted and equipped to provide all your needs.

**Sean:** Fast speed Internet and Nintendo Wii? (the others stare at him)

**Vince:** Actually yes.

**Sean: **Cool. This might not be too bad. Let's check it out.

**Hunter:** I'd like to check out the wardrobe myself. (he badly needed to get dressed)

**Bret:** (finally standing) Wait. There's got to be a catch.

**Vince:** You have your first post to read.

**Bret:** The catch.

**Vince:** So get to it. (Vince disappears and the tv screen goes black)

Our heroes stood around in silence, confused as to what they were to do next. Suddenly, flashing red lights and sirens disrupted the silence. They covered their ears and shouted over the noise.

**Sean:** What do we have, Klingons? Who sounded the red alert?

**Bret:** (looking at something behind the others) Look! (he points and the others turn to see a sign)

**Hunter:** (reads sign) Enter.

**Bret:** Must be where we're supposed to read our first post. (Sean already starts heading there)

**Shawn:** What will happen if we don't enter?

**Bret:** We go insane in fifteen minutes from listening to this noise.

**Shawn:** You have a point.

**Bret:** I do?

**Shawn:** (pushing ahead of Bret and Hunter) Yes. I'm going in. You stay out here and go insane.

**Hunter:** (right behind Bret and Shawn) Let's all go inside before I go insane and kill you both. (Bret and Shawn look back at him both worried for him and of him)

Meanwhile, Sean has pushed inside first. He leads the others through the doors into a darkened theater. To our heroes, the situation just kept getting weirder.

Shawn followed Sean down the aisle. Bret was third and Hunter was behind him.

When the door closed behind Hunter, the siren stopped. Out of curiosity, Hunter opened the door. Immediately the siren turned back on. Hunter closed the door quickly and the siren stopped again. He turned back to face the aisle and found Bret and Shawn looking back at him annoyed and helpless.

**Hunter:** We're trapped.

Our heroes continued walking down the aisle amazed at how large the theater was for just four people.

**Sean:** Wow! Look at that screen. It's huge. I could use something like this at my house.

**Bret:** Remember Sean, it looks impressive, but this is all part of Vince's plan to destroy us. It's evil.

**Sean:** At least it looks cool. (he chooses the sixth seat on the inside of the sixth row from the screen to sit in, the others follow)

**Shawn:** It would be cool if it wasn't going to lead to our destruction. (sits down next to Sean)

Bret enters the row and is going to sit down, till he sees who he's sitting next to.

**Shawn:** Oh no.

**Bret:** I can't...I won't sit next to him.

**Shawn:** Here we go.

**Bret:** I've spent the last 9 and a half years avoiding him. Sitting next to him is out of the question.

**Shawn:** Bitterman...

**Hunter:** (entering the row, not wanting a fight) Oh, for goodness sakes. I'll sit next to Shawn.

Hunter and Bret move around to switch positions.

**Bret:** Owww! (Hunter looks at him) You kicked me in the shin.

**Hunter:** (sitting, smiling slyly) Sorry.

**Bret:** (angry) You did that on purpose.

**Hunter:** Couldn't have hurt that much, I don't have shoes on.

**Bret:** Wish I had a soda to spill on the floor.

Bret sat down finally and almost immediately an image appeared. It was a countdown from 5 to 1, like the one seen at the movies.

**Sean:** (during the countdown) It's starting and I have no popcorn.

**All (but Sean):** Shhh!

At 1, the screen went black.

**Shawn:** In the beginning, there was darkness.

Then, two words in white appeared on the black screen in big font.

_Good morning _

**Hunter:** It's morning?

**Bret:** It's always morning somewhere in the world.

**Sean:** It's good?

_Welcome to the Satellite of Degenerates home theater system. From this point forward the Satellite of Degenerates will be referred to as the SOD. _

**Shawn:** What a rush.

**Bret:** That's LOD.

_Allow me to introduce  
_  
**DX:** (singing one of the songs from Wrestlemania 22) You to the chararacters...(Bret and Sean look at them)

_myself, _

**Sean:** Where's me and I?

_I am your hostess marie. _

**Sean (as Marie):** And I'm an alcoholic who is too drunk to remember to capitalize my name.

**All:** Hi Marie.

_You are probably wondering who I am. _

**Bret:** Not really. From what Vince told us, you must be the person Vince hired to help torture us.

**Sean:** You realize that we're talking to a screen, right?

**Hunter:** Just so that we can stay sane.

**Shawn:** Although I suppose it could look like we're insane.

_Actually, you look quite normal, for now _

**All:** (stare at screen wide eyed)

_and as you might have now realized, I can see every expression you guys make and hear everything you say.  
_  
**Shawn:** Fine, what am I doing? (he picks his nose with his right hand)

_Picking your nose with your right hand _

**Shawn:** (his hand drops to his lap in shock)

**All (but Shawn):** Uh oh.

_Now I'm aware of what Vince told you, so I won't bore you by repeating.  
_  
**All:** Thanks.

_You're welcome _

**Sean:** At least, she's a polite evil doer.

**Bret:** So was Hannibal Lector.

_I heard that! _

**Bret:** (winces)

_Now this post won't be the norm. In fact, it's the most interactive one you will probably ever read.  
_  
**Shawn:** I'm having flashbacks of last Cyber Sunday.

_Just so you know the drill for the future, you will receive posts_ _every few days...or whenever_ _Vince desires it. _

**Bret:** We're in for it then.

_Sirens will signal as you saw earlier and you will be expected to take your seats. You will be expected to read the posts as they appear...and stay awake _

**Hunter:** (has started to doze off, but wakes up suddenly) Oww! (jumps up, the others stare and start to smell electricity and electrocuted human) The chair shocked me.

_as you can see, you're chairs are designed to give off small amounts of electricity, there will be no falling asleep _

**_Shawn:_** You've had a rough day Hunter.

**Hunter:** I'm going to be a crispy critter if this continues. (sits down cautiously)

_As I was going to say _

**Bret:** You forgot a period in the sentence before this.

_I'm typing fast to keep up with you guys. So, give me a break.  
_  
**Bret:** Just thought you should know.

_Normally, I won't be typing your posts as you read. I will just give you the whole thing and you can determine how fast you read them; thereby putting control in your hands  
_  
**Sean:** Thereby allowing us to participate in our own destruction.

_Exactly. _

**All:** (look at each other more worried than before)

_I believe Shawn Michaels that if you feel under your seat, you will find something that resembles a remote controller. _

**Shawn:** (feels for the controller under the seat, pulls it out) I got it!

_Feel free to pass it around. If you all look closely, you will see a forward button.  
_  
**Sean:** Can we try it?

_Not on this post. On future posts, you may press the button. When you do, a few lines of your post will appear on the screen.  
_  
**Hunter:** And if we keep pressing, we will reach the end of our post.

_Not so fast Crispy, you must read the lines that appear or the post returns to the beginning and starts over. _

**Sean:** Looks like you and Vince thought of everything.

_Yes. Now, a little bit more information about why you four are here.  
_  
**Sean:** But Vince already explained that.

_But he left a few things out.  
_  
**All:** (groan)

_Vince is a very frustrated man. _

**Hunter:** Sexually and professionally.

**Bret:** Hunter!

_Vince wanted revenge, but he needed assistance. So he sent out a personal ad on the Internet  
_  
**Hunter:** (sounding like a personal ad) Millionaire and evil genius with a stick up his ass and a score to settle seeking willing accomplice. Must be female between 18 and 27 years of age and be willing to do anything. Must be a good writer, be able to type 40-50 wpm and be able to search on the Internet. No life is preferable.

_You've go the right idea. Except for the no life part.  
_  
**Hunter:** Sure.

_I answered the ad and Vince hired me. He paid good money. _

**Bret: **It's bad money. Tainted money. The devil's money.

_The amount was good. You should know something about that, you WCW sell out.  
_  
**Shawn:** She's got you there Bret. (Bret glares at him)

_Part of my assistance to Vince came in the form of helping him to decide which of his current and former employees should be brought to the satellite for him to torture. _

**Shawn:** So we can blame so much of this on you.

**Sean:** If you would just be kind enough to leave us your email address...

_Nice try. Believe it or not, I'm a very big fan of wrestling. _

**Hunter:** I believe that you being very big' has to do with you having no life.

**Bret:** You know Hunter, insulting the author is not going to make this experience with her any more pleasant.

_Thank you Hart for telling Crispy that. You are my favorite wrestler. It's such an honor to meet you. _

**Shawn: **Nice to know Bret has one fan. Too bad she's crazy.

**Bret:** (to Shawn) I have millions of perfectly sane fans, I'll have you know.

**Shawn:** Sure.

**Bret:** (to the screen) And my fans don't normally call me a sell out.

_Apologies. I do really like you, but you have to understand, I need the money. My father's sick and out of work. He has no insurance and I have all the financial responsibilities.  
_  
**Hunter:** Cry me a river sweetheart.

**Bret:** (to the screen) That is not a good enough reason to ruin my life.

**Shawn:** Or mine.

**Sean:** You could have just gotten a job as a stripper if you needed the money so bad. (the others stare at him) What? At least she'd be providing a service and working legally...barely.

_Watch it! _

**Sean:** (cringes)

_I can handle Bret insulting me. He's on my good list and I like him. As for the rest of you, you're either on my bad list or my could care less about list.  
_  
**Sean:** (singing to the tune of 'Santa Clause Is Coming To Town') You're making a list and checking it twice...

_And after checking it over, only one of you is on my bad side.  
_  
**All (but Shawn): **(stare at Shawn)

**Shawn:** (realizing all eyes are on him) What?

**Hunter:** It's just that die hard fans of Bret are not usually fans of you.

_I used to be a fan of Shawn. _

**Bret:** Till Survivor Series.

_That's only when I began to hate him. I wasn't much of a fan after Shawn through Marty threw the barber shop window. _

**Bret:** Wait Shawn, you went through Marty to throw the barber shop window? Someone has anger management issues.

**Shawn:** This coming from someone who destroyed the broadcasting equipment and punched out his boss at the end of his last Survivor Series. (Bret glares) It should say, "After Shawn threw", as in 't-h-r-e-w', "Marty through", as in 't-h-r-o-u-g-h' "the barber shop window". (to screen) You not only use homonyms incorrectly, but you hold a bigger grudge than your hero. You also can't tell the difference between what's real and what's scripted.

**Hunter:** You done?

**Shawn:** I needed to vent. I'm sorry.

_I did love Shawn and Bret's match at Wrestlemania 12, but I think Shawn's victory was tainted. Winning in overtime _

**Shawn:** Ah gee...

_So it should be no surprise that when Vince asked me who my least favorite wrestlers were that Shawn would appear fourth on the list.  
_  
**Sean:** At least Shawn, you can take comfort in the fact that you weren't number one on this list.

**Bret:** This is actually a list he deserves to be number one on.

**Hunter:** Who were the top three, I wonder? (Shawn puts his head in his hands)

_My top three least favorite wrestlers counting down from 3 to 1 are Ric Flair  
_  
**Shawn:** How can anyone hate Flair?

**Bret:** Very easily.

**Shawn:** You just don't like it that someone is considered a better wrestler than you.

**Bret:** I don't like it when wrestlers are considered better by people who can't tell the difference between technical skill and showmanship.

**Shawn:** Of which you have neither. (Bret starts to rise, Hunter stops him from getting up)

_Hulk Hogan _

**Hunter:** I think the author has a thing against old has-been wrestlers still wrestling.

**Shawn:** Remind me to tell Flair you called him a has-been if we ever get back to Earth.

**Hunter:** Well, (stammering) I don't think Flair's a has-been. That's just what some wrestling fans think.

_and number 1 on my list...can I get a drum roll, please _

**Sean: **(gives her a drum roll)

_is Lex Luger. _

**Hunter:** Now that I agree with.

**Sean:** So why aren't Shawn, Flair, Hogan and Luger being subjected to this?

_Because Vince made the final decisions. Shawn and Hunter were obvious choices because of how much they'd been bugging Vince. Plus, where Shawn goes, Triple H goes. They're a package.  
_  
**Bret:** One you'd like to ship to Antarctica. (DX glares at him)

_And Xpac was thrown in for good measure.  
_  
**Sean:** I feel like I'm the last ingredient of a recipe. First, take one Hitman, original DX, and throw in Xpac.

_Stir it up and let it set. Caution: Volatile capabilities due to its explosive elements.  
_  
**Sean and Hunter:** (look at Shawn and Bret)

**Shawn and Bret:** Hey!

_Believe it or not, you're first post is almost over. _

**All:** Yeah!

_I said almost (tear)  
_  
**Hunter:** Oh great, we made the writer cry.

_Now that we are at the end, the time has come to announce the leader of your little band. _

**Sean:** Band? I can't play an instrument. Guess that means I'm out. (gets up)

_Sit down!  
_  
**Sean:** (he sits)

_Good boy. Now, your band of degenerates will be headed by somebody who is good under pressure. Someone who's led before, and has proven himself to be capable.  
_  
**Shawn:** That sounds like me.

**Bret:** I'd like to resign.

_Someone who has earned your respect at one time or another even if you don't care to admit it.  
_  
**Shawn:** That's me all right. You may not like me, but you have to respect me.

_Sorry Shawn, it's not you. You are; however, second in command. Vince's choice, you understand.  
_  
**Shawn:** I can live with that. (turns away from screen towards Hunter) So Hunter, congratulation buddy. We will rule this satellite like we ruled the WWE. (Bret cringes)

**Hunter:** (after reading the screen) Shawn, hate to tell you this.

**Shawn:** Tell me what?

**Hunter:** Look at the screen.

**Shawn:** (looks at the screen)

_Triple H is not your leader.  
_  
**Shawn:** (turns away from the screen towards Sean) Sean, pal, have I ever told you how much I have always respected you?

**Sean:** (smiling wide) You're going to have to do better than that Shawn. Look at the screen.

_Xpac is not your leader.  
_  
**Shawn:** But that leaves...(hysterical) No, say it's not true.

**Hunter:** Shawn, get a hold of yourself.

**Shawn:** But...

**Sean:** Speaking of butts, I'd start kissing Bret's right about now.

**Bret:** He doesn't have to go that far. Getting down on his knees and begging will suffice.

_Yes, Bret Hart is your leader.  
_  
**Shawn:** Noooo!!!

**Hunter:** Come on Shawn. At least you're his second. That means Bret has to listen to you...some of the time.

**Bret:** Damn!

_Hunter's right. Bret and Shawn do have to work together. _

**Bret:** And how exactly are we supposed to do that? We've never even agreed on anything before.

**Shawn:** Except that we hate each other and cannot work together without it ending in violence.

**Sean:** (to screen) Remember what you said about explosive elements.

**Hunter:** You are mixing the fire in Bret to the TNT in Shawn.

**Sean and Hunter:** Extreme volatile capability.

**Shawn:** Now wait just a minute...

_We will wait. We will sit back and see if Bret and Shawn can survive as leaders without destroying one another. They shouldn't forget the times that they have worked together, maybe not as friends  
_  
**Bret:** (interrupting) I can't think of a time we were ever friends.

_but you still worked together. And you put on some of the best matches, not only of your careers, but the greatest known to the wrestling world. _

**Bret:** It doesn't look like we have much of a choice, does it Shawn?

**Shawn:** I guess not.

_Will Bret and Shawn be able to work together?  
_  
**Sean:** Tune in tomorrow to see if they're still alive.

_The End _

**All:** Yeah!

**Sean:** (looking at the screen) Oh no, another line.

_The end of the beginning that is. _

**Hunter:** Why do I have a feeling that it's only going to get worse from here?

**Sean:** So what do we do now?

**Hunter:** I don't know Kid. Why don't we direct that question to our new leaders? (Sean looks at Shawn and Hunter looks at Bret)

**Shawn:** Don't look at me; I'm just the second. (he, Hunter and Sean all look at Bret)

**Bret:** Well...let's go check the place out.

**Shawn:** I second that. (Bret rolls his eyes and exits the row)

**Hunter:** (exiting the row) This should be interesting.

Our heroes exit the theater.

The End...for now.

What'd you think? Another misting will be sent soon.

I do in fact really like Bret. I even like Shawn, except I didn't think what happened at Survivor Series was right.

I do think that Flair should retire soon, but he is great on the mic. I never really liked Hogan, although I know how important he was to professional wrestling. I never liked Luger though.

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